Saturday, April 11, 2009

As with any new day comes new life, new moments and for me something to laugh about. But I'm always looking for something that's going to make me laugh. My life has not been easy; but it's the one I chose and hopefully I'm a better person for it. Laughing got me through some bad days; and helps me sail through the good ones.
Inspiration is sitting in my loft studio of the second floor of my house looking at this huge horse chestnut tree that is right in front of the window, watching a couple of black, grey and white birds building their nest in a hole just big enough for them to get in and out of. (English writers would call that a "drag on sentence", sorry)
I see something building their home in that hole every year and wonder "what is so good about that spot?" Well it's high enough to keep away from their enemies. If they built too low it would be the end, probably, of their little family. And they want to protect their babies from predators.
That's what I tried to do with my girls. I tried to protect them from predators, from bad influences, tried to keep them safe, give them a clean home to live in and clean clothes to wear and food to eat. They got everything that I thought they needed. I gave them much of my time, as we lived in the country many summer days were spent hiking, biking and well, shopping when they were little, just so I could be around people my age as at the time I was a stay at home mom. But I think I failed my kids in so many ways. I didn't teach them things that I wish I could've taught them. I wish I woulda talked to them more. I wish I woulda hugged them more. I wish I woulda gave them more affirmation and told them how special they were much more than I did. I think I expected too much perfection out of them as their little minds just couldn't grasp the thought of it. That makes me sad, and mad at myself. But the only thing I can do is tell them NOW how much I love them, hug them more often, and let them know how proud I am of them. Those girls are so special to me and I love them dearly.
You can find this suncatcher mobile at my butterflyheavens shoppe

No comments: